Well it's Celebrity Big Brother time again and this time - for the last time - they've really pulled out all the stops. Literally. There will be no end. Apparently, this final Big Brother isn't final in the sense that there will be no more series, as we were lead to believe, it is final because it will end last - running on and on, until the end of time. Of course the celebrities involved aren't aware of this just yet - it's one of the many twists in the pipeline for this generation of the housemates. Each one of the little suckers has been asked to bring in 2 objects of personal value - little do they realise these will be the only things they will have to remind them of their previous lives in the outside world. And remember, this year the house has been built in international waters so literally anything can happen without legal repercussions.

We're hoping to keep you informed as the experiment progresses but let's have a look at The Housemates we're going to be watching, trapped in a heavily guarded set, for the rest of their natural lives:

Clive Sinclair

Chosen for his invention skills Clive may be useful to the housemates in the planned power cut of 2015 - assuming, of course, he survives the 3 weeks of starvation set for early 2011. Clive prefixes many nouns with "Sinclair" to the extent he now calls himself "Sinclair Clive Sinclair".

2 Objects of value: A Sinclair C5 and a Sinclair Spectrum.

Kylie Minogue

Austrian singer, Kylie first shot to fame in the well loved soap-opera "Neighbours" in which she played one of the eponymous neighbours. A dog was also involved and he was called Bouncer.

2 Objects of Personal Value: "I Should Be So Lucky" single and "Mein Kampf" to remind her of her Austrian heritage.

George W. Bush

Former President of the United States of America (or USA as it is abbreviated), an English speaking nation south of Canada.

2 Objects of Personal Value: His lungs.

Ant

Half of the face of ITV, Ant is the one with the brown hair, I think.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Emergency ITV Panic Button and And Dec

And Dec

The second half of ITVs face, And Dec has darker hair and was the one who was shot in both eyes simultaneously with paintballs.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Ant and Emergency ITV Panic Button (disabled due to improper use)

The Ghost of Anne Frank

Killed by the Nazis, Anne Frank's spirit has returned to stalk the Earth, spreading good will and love to all non-Fascists.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Love and the spoon she inhabits.

Iggy Pop

Jesus, I've not seen him in ages - I thought he was dead.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Transparent trousers and translucent shoes.

Brad Pitt

Box office darling, Pitt, will feel well at home with all the cameras, as his own home is also covered in CCTV and the live feeds streamed direct to www.pittspalace.com.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Angelina Jolie's arm hair and a box of her teeth.

Fearne Cotton

Not really sure who she is, I've certainly heard her name before though.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Not sure. Something forgettable and a bag of bland, I would think.

Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield Price (Jordan)

Never quite managing to settle down in to a name of sensible length, Jordan - now calling herself Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield Price, or Kaaaip for short - is well known to those who enjoy celebrity gossip or tits. Now, well in to her 50s, Kaaaip is looking for another reality TV show to get her boobs into.

2 Objects of Personal Value: Pandora's Box and the last remnants of Peter Andre's self respect.

Ronald McDonald

A bit of a comedy entrant, Ronald McDonald is actually an out of work actor called Alan Goff. Ladbrokes are now taking bets on how long it will take him to break character - something he has been expressly forbidden to do. Looking for a good retirement package? Why not try placing a bet for June 4th, 2027? Odds on that: 360,000:1.

2 Objects of Personal Value: 2 Chicken McNuggets.